The time has come to implement what we were discussing throughout September. On Thursday 7 October 2010 at 8pm we will be launching some new Studio Edirisa products at The Gardens – and on the internet. Don’t miss!

Like action and superheroes? Like to laugh at action and superheroes? Make sure you are at The Gardens this Thursday 30/9 by 9pm because Kick-Ass is a film that seriously kicks ass! When a comedy gets 85% from top movie critics, don’t you think you should see it?!

People, something has happened to our great writer David Tumusiime! Can you help us cheer David up? Can we show him all is not lost?! It is just very strange to read the following sentences coming from his keyboard…

I have truly lost my innocence, I believe. Or is it that I have become embittered without realising it? I know I have lost that childlike enthusiasm, appetite for start up projects that envision changing the world, but let’s begin with a part of Uganda. What happened??! I used to be a revolutionary, not with a gunman dreams, but believing Percy Bysshe Shelley’s dictum that, “Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.” Because the pen and a dream spread, mind to mind, would have greater impact in the long run, than any marauding horde.

Is it perhaps because in Uganda, in my lifetime (to all my knowledge), I have not seen an idea propounded, planted, the seed take root and then shoot up into the daylight to change lives, to change communities, to change Uganda? Is this why, as I grow older, I have less and less interest, in getting on the bus of change because no change ever seems to come. We are in a permanent rut.

It all sounds grim, hopeless, who would want to live a life like that? But really it is not. ‘True’ religious believers live that life all their lives. They have no hope in this world, are keeping themselves as pure and unsullied as they can, for the next better world they fervently believe in on a promise that turns on the axis of a gentleman’s agreement. Or woman, for those who believe God really is a woman, otherwise why all the fickleness and arbitrariness of life?

I could live like this. Another operator. Disguising my indifference in the cloak of the great sceptical scientific mind that demands proof before belief, thus standing apart from all new ‘things’ because the experiment is not yet proven. I could live like this, with the ‘mind your business’ defence we all use to do nothing about the alarming decline of the state of our roads, our schools, our hospitals, even our civil liberties (Miha, don’t touch that! David, why would I?). No longer looking up the ‘FOR GOD AND MY COUNTRY’ because the self survival guide reads now, ‘ME AND MY FAMILY.’

But is this not how we are all living already? Why am I talking about it like I’m the first to stumble upon it? I know when a pickpocket snatches a lady’s handbag on the street in Kampala, especially uptown, the first instinct is to step out of the way of the thief and watch this drama to be able to better regale friends at the bar later.

So there we are. There I’m. Right now. In this September.

No, I don’t feel sorry for myself. Or you.

photo: Tjasa Zajc

David Tumusiime is currently engaged in creating a Ugandan films website, is the owner of www.madandcrazy.blogspot.com and writes for Studio Edirisa as well as The Observer.

Meet Hazel McCallion, 89, who has been the mayor of Canada’s sixth largest city for 31 years. While many world cities have financial problems, her Mississauga is prospering. A video is here. Photo: mississauga.com

Out of the darkness, a witchdoctor jumped in the circle of people around the campfire. Everyone went wild. And Studio Edirisa’s director was amazed: “Noah Liberi is such a brilliant actor?! We need him for Planet Edirisa!” He already knew Noah was a creative and provocative writer.

The place was Bushara Island at Lake Bunyonyi. The event was “Bunyonyi Idol”, a talent show prepared by Edirisa for Kampala International School, Uganda. The time was last Thursday.

Now Noah is here with us, on the equator. At least for some weeks, until his part time journalism course in Kabale recommences in October. He is going to be the witchdoctor in our script who manages to bring Idi Amin’s ghost to life. And hopefully much more.

This is how he has presented himself (the teasing additions supplied by Miha Logar and approved by Noah):

“Noah” who has stayed in this world for 24 years, is a typical Mukiga from Nyakasiru Village here in Uganda. He is the fourth of the ten brothers and sisters in his family. He was one of the lucky common men who got the privilege to attend school. (It would be crime to leave Noah behind!)

He is mad about politics and leadership because he feels this is where one gains all the powers to make every possible change in the world, either by dialogue or command. This has caused his hope to be the future president of Uganda that lives with him every day. (And made him try to run for an MP this year – thankfully (for Studio Edirisa) he was rejected by the big men.)

He has worked for Teach Inn Uganda since he finished his A levels, until recently when there was a need to step forward to another life adventure. (That need was made bigger by the management committee members who sacked Noah – Studio Edirisa is grateful!)

He believes in practical work, not theories. Just sitting down and wishing does not make one a man. (Interesting words for Nyakasiru’s number one philosopher!)

If Noah’s head was grafted to all his fellow human beings, God who we claim to be the provider of our everything would be a free man to think about himself. We should stop labouring God with our endless requisitions, for man has all he ability and potential to change the world in a minute. Still, Noah has not done anything to make what he believes a reality. (Seriously, who wouldn’t love Noah?!)

photo: Miha Logar

The evening tea, an old UMU tradition, got cancelled recently. Studio Edirisa is bringing it back! Come to The Gardens on Mon 27/9 at 5pm and get more than a free cup: the Planet Edirisa pilot script and roles to play! (Photo: The Planetarians will live on a Lake Victoria island.)

Here in East Africa we laugh at the silly things Bazungu say. My Sudanese friends in Australia get asked stupid questions about Africa all the time. Such as: Do you all have pet giraffes? Can you ride them? But trust me – ignorance is a two-way street, writes Laurie May.

A Ugandan friend of mine was telling me this story of his holiday in Ireland when he was trying to jazz some ladies in a bar. We’ll call him Moses for the benefit of this retelling.

Lady: Wow! You’re from Uganda! That’s in Africa, right?

Moses: No, but we do have a really big tree and once you’ve booked your flight you climb the tree and the plane flies past quite slowly with the door open and you just jump right in there.

Needless to say the lady walked away and left our dear Moses to get on with jazzing the next lady who, hopefully, wasn’t as ignorant.

Another Kenyan friend of mine was asked by a European girl “Did you ever live in a tree?” She was in Kampala! Where did she see people living in trees?

But like I said, it goes both ways.

As an Australian I have been asked (and told) some pretty crazy things about my homeland. Once a young man told me that it was a shame about the dingos. The dingo is a native dog to Australia which has been there long before colonisation. This young Ugandan continued to tell me that the dingo was introduced by the English and now they run rampant in Australia killing people and hunt us down in packs. The same man also told me that Australia was an undeveloped country which didn’t have universities or many jobs available. I tried for about an hour to convince him otherwise after which I gave in and said “yes, in Australia we don’t work, we just sit around all day thinking of ways to survive the next dingo attack.”

On three different occasions I have had to explain to Americans that Australia is not near Canada, that’s America. Almost every day is a new battle to tell Ugandans that Australia is not in Europe – that’s Austria, a quaint little country near Germany. Australia is a big island continent in the middle of the map.

… Now don’t get me wrong, this ignorance comes from both sides.

Recently an old school friend on Facebook asked me why on earth I would live in Uganda. When I asked her why not, it’s wonderful here, she replied “because there’s no power or water or food and it’s all just slums.” Now she’s telling me this on Facebook chat… How could I do that without power and internet?! I didn’t bother to reply in the negative, some prejudices you can’t fix, I simply told her “yes, you’re right but on the plus side I am getting really really skinny from not eating for a year.”

The world would be better off without ignorance, but it is the veil which all human hates hides behind. Fights, dislike, tension and wars are all based from ignorance. And even when you try to correct someone’s pre-conceived notions they don’t buy it. They just look at you like “hmmmm….sure.” Either that, or they try and tell you that you’re wrong or get really humiliated.

There’s this amazing thing nowadays called the Internet. I recommend using it and looking up your questions before confronting someone which could actually become an embarrassing and offensive slight. Perhaps we should put the call out: What’s the craziest thing you’ve been asked or told about where you come from?

image: Alice Bartz & Miha Logar